Dear Family,
I love being mom and I love serving you.
But, ahem- it has suddenly come to my attention that my baby is 8 years old.
Getting only 3 hours straight sleep at a time is no longer acceptable to me.
Please be on notice, I am declaring the night hours asthma-attack-free zones. No more nebulizer treatments at 11p.m, 2:30 a.m and 6 a.m. I'm not as young as I used to be, I can't keep up. Please save your attacks for the daytime hours.
Cat- no more waking me up because you want to come into the house, you want to go out of the house, you want a 6th meal, or because you need fresh running water out of the bathroom sink faucet and you lack thumbs.
Just because I am so slap-happy by 2 a.m that I do all of these things for you with no resistance (and stand and wait for you to stop drinking so I can turn off the faucet...)
-just because I have been too weak to resist your evil, calculating kitty-ways- does not make the whole set-up hugely wrong. Funny how you occasionally use the doggy door to come into the house when no human attendant is available...well, I know you can use it, so use it and don't let it hit you on the way out.
- You are on notice that at the first meow from now on, I will be tossing you out the front door and locking the doggy door.
Dog- while I am moved by the complete and utter faith you have in me, demonstrated by your waking me up at 4:30 a.m - after the cat episodes, after the breathing treatments, -because you had itchy ears and were convinced I could make it all better...while I acknowledge the sweet testament to your view of my mom-ness, the whole scene was unappreciated.
talk to me about ears in the morning, I'm sure they itch just as much in daylight.
Teenager- if mom says you need a breathing treatment, then you do. I am still smarter than you.
The 1 a.m nebulizer treatment success proves me right yet again.
Husband, no more Indian food.
thank you for your attention to these matters,
love
mom