The anemia diaries

I mentioned that I just discovered that I am really anemic. I always come up anemic, so I was prepared for that-it was the level of and the seriousness of that took me by surprise. It may explain many things, like why I am cold all the time (taking into account my circulation problem) and why I do things like this and this...and why I am always tired.

Wednesday found me on day 7 of taking 2 mulit-vitamins a day and fish oil capsules and day 4 of taking 2 iron pills a day. It also marked the beginnings of some rumblings in my tummy, which have marked the end of iron taking in past years....so, I reached for the gentle, natural senna laxative I keep on hand for my little one.

Thursday found me locked in the bathroom all morning and a good part of the evening.

As I sat/(crouched) crying and cursing iron, (while trying to decide which end to point at the toilet) Sky, my knight in shining armor busted in, baring not red roses (would so not have been appreciated at the moment) but a red bucket (be still, my beating heart!) thus ending my undignified crouching dilemma. Moments like that really bring home the meaning of unconditional love. Then he took himself to the drug store to find something to relieve me.
He called his Dr. Brother, who enlightened us on the difference between laxative and stool softener.

To sum up:

Laxative- Bad
stool softener-good

I swore off iron pills for the rest of the day, until the next day when Sky talked some sense back into me. This is way more than you really want to know, isn't it? Gotta write what I live, friends.

All that time spent, ahem, reflecting caused me to wax poetic in my ponderings (in between the crying). I give you, internets- 2 haikus:

Anemia hunts
I wage war yet find
-cold, white porcelain

and

This coldness I fight
wage my medicinal war
et-tu laxative?

sidenotes

Well, we've got the good ole' Santa Ana winds ripping through Orange County right now. I think I heard it reported we'd be getting 70 to 80 mph winds coming through tonight and tomorrow. We've battened down the hatches and put the hens to bed in the coop early. Hens don't like wind, it ruffles their feathers ( a girl wants to look presentable...) and things falling around them tends to throw them into a startled chicken-little frenzy of "the sky is falling" which is sometimes comical but kind of sad- I have empathy for those of little brain, my hen friends.

I think I just decided to make this reeaal short, since I recently found out that my health status had resulted in way less blood volume ( just severely anemic, don't freak-not trying to make it sound omnious) and the adult dose of antihistimine and sudefed just hit my system big- time, I I am now, it seems, blogging while under the influence. Please forgive any typing errors. I forgot I shouldn't take adult doses (darn winds messing with my allergies tonight). I think the Dr. said I have half the blood volume, but then again I might not remember that right, since mental confusion and thinking fuzzy are symptoms. The poor man, he had my number and quizzed me about what I am supposed to take and do before I left his office. -I answered every question wrong! He then wrote it down for me, smart man.

Okay, I'm going to stop now, but I did want to mention that the carnival of homeschooling is posted, you can go on over to read really good/interesting posts.

I'm going to go now, cuz I do feel really funky right now....
see you around the internet!

Absolution...Resolution...something like that

I know the whole New Year's resolution is just so cliche'- Yet, there is something I really like about a brand new year, a clean slate, a new beginning, resolve. I am going to keep my list short, I've learned with time that the more you try to put on your list, the more likely you are to fail. I've also learned to keep my resolutions short. Here they are

I resolve:

To break my 7 -year fast of brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts.

To start eating more health consciously and to start taking vitamins- starting this Tuesday
(less diet coke, more cranberry water, fish oil, less sugar...)

To go out with a bang before this Tuesday, hence the box of pop tarts and the chips and melted cheese I have eaten for almost every meal this weekend. And the candy cane jo-jo's brownies.

To begin my yoga practice again. (I bought this dvd yesterday- whoo-hoo!)
And to up my walking program.

To spend more time with the Lord, reading his word and praying. Specifically, to start my morning this way..I hate mornings-not just catching some reading randomly during the day and praying while I fall asleep at night....

To finish the 2 teaching company courses I have, before ordering anymore. I have one on St. Augustine, and one on C.S. Lewis.

To be more organized with my homeschooling (vague, I know, but I am still thinking the hows out in my head)

So, I 'll let you know how it all goes...how about you? Any resolutions out there you want to share?

As for the pop tarts...I banned them years ago because I ate them for most breakfasts, and often for a snack, with a diet coke of course. I am a comfort/habit sort of eater- these things are just really really bad for me so I decided to never buy them.

My big diet/food changes happen this week,
as Sky observed..."you're going out with a bang, I see!" and then when my howl of dismay erupted on discovering my new box of pop tarts was already expired, he inquired if the universe was trying to tell me something.
um, screw the universe...I ate them anyways. Those things never really expire.

Pop tart anyone?

I see little people

I wrote a week ago that Demi-Sky had a severe bout of asthma, he recovered fairly quickly but then Meg had asthma...and so it goes- I continue to sleep little.

Sunday night I determined to turn a new leaf, get to bed at a respectable hour and try to shake the endless tiredness I seem to live in. I really, really tried. After hosting the bible school boys for the evening, getting the kids to bed, starting some laundry and closing up the house...my head actually hit the pillow at midnight. I even took a tylenol pm to help sleep along, I am prone to lie awake thinking...

At 2 a.m. I woke up to find Meg and Amie standing next to my bed in the dark. Meg said to me, "Mom, Amie's covered in some brown stuff, it's all over her face and bed..."

I closed my eyes tight and began to repeat to myself "go to your happy place! Go to your happy place!, Go to your happy place!!!!"

It didn't work, when I opened my eyes, they were still standing there.

You can guess the rest, I'm sure. If you have kids, you can picture the rest in glorious scrubbing/laundry/bathing and bathing again after the second round-detail.

Lately it seems like the universe is trying to kick my trashcan.

notes from home

Different things happening around here,
Last week Josie and Sky had their piano recitals. They both performed excellently, Sky was very nervous... I know how difficult it is to play in front of others, poor guy- but he did great! Josie knew her piece by heart and played beautifully, we were so proud of her. Grandparents attended, as did my sister and my new niece.

Here is Sky concentrating- he did really well and you couldn't tell how nervous he was.

Once a month now we have some of the Bible School (called the Full time training) girls over for dinner, instead of the boys. We can't have them over at the same time, "no patty fingers in the holy water, if you please..." -hah! I love that quote and movie!!

Anyways, the girls had been trying to plan a good ole southern craw-fish fry...or whatever, but they failed to hunt up any live craw fish here in the OC, so oh joy! They brought over a live crab, instead! I wouldn't even know how to how
cook that, nor could I- It was alive! Luckily, Sky

knew just what to do and took care of it, I fled
the room till it was all over. And, I couldn't eat it...I love crab, but I couldn't eat it after it died in my kitchen. Amie and Demi-Sky were very entranced by the whole, live crustacean thing-and they dined very happily on him, too.

Here is a new chapter on "cooking with Jen"...
It was Sky's birthday, and he requested a spice cake. Here are some of the gathered ingredients...
It, unfortunately stuck to the pan...and here is
the sad result. And no, I didn't drop it!! Sky laughed and said it looked like I had...and then he took these photos because he thought this episode was blog-worthy...
the moral of the story is to get the cake out of the bundt
pan post-haste, because if you let it sit while you go out for some orange spiced chicken, this will likely be the result. umm, ummm...

demoted

I wonder nightly why- in Sam's Hill- can I not get more then 3 hours straight sleep? My kids were all Ezzo-routine babies -I so did not point that out to start a debate, just a fact...- they all slept through the night before or around 10 weeks. My first actually started at one month. And yet, I sleep not... If you want to see a grown woman cry, just dish out nights like I've had routinely... It comes down really to asthma; 3 of my 4 have it (I'm still waiting for my prize for that,...) and lately the cat is a problem. The cat has it in for me. The cat is slowly trying to make me crazy.

Two nights ago, my oldest woke me at 2 a.m to tell me she was itchy. (great...) My head had hit the pillow at 12:30 after doing one last(oh dear God let it be so!) nebulizer treatment with Demi. Up at 2 with Meg's problem, then up at 3 a.m again with Demi's asthma treatment. Then at 5 a.m Demi was asthma coughing, so I got up to do the nebulizer thing yet again-which you have to sit in bed with them for, because they fall asleep..after all, it is the middle of the night -and who wouldn't fall asleep?? Then he started crying because he had an earache. I got him some pain medicine and some cold medicine and advised him to not cry, it'll only make things worse. He was still fussing as I shuffled/sleep-walked/dragged myself back to bed. I entertained high hopes of 2 hours, pray- maybe 3?? hours of sleep before the next round, or getting up for church- since I had tossed the cat out at the 2 a.m. thing...the cat is my biggest nemesis in the sleep deprivation game.

6 a.m. and Meg came in to tell me that Demi was crying. I guess I slept thru it out of sheer exhaustion... I did the comforting thing, warmed up some ear-oil to help with the pain. All of this is hard on me, because I have bad circulation and it is freezing in our 1950's home... He's still crying, so now out of patience I tell him to stop. Several times. I am frustrated and so tired. I think to myself, "God must hate me..." and right away I know this is a wrong thought, and I feel bad because I know many parents have much worse situations to work through. And yet, I think it again. Demi hits for the heart and says "I want Daddy!" "Ha! I laugh back, do you think you'll get any sympathy from Dad?!" In our house, mom is the coddler, Dad is no nonsense/tough-love.

Demi is looking as put out with me as I must look to him... My mind goes back to a childhood memory of a stepdad dragging my little stepbrother into the bathroom and making him sleep in the tub because he was throwing up, and yelling at him. The tub idea suddenly seems kind of reasonable... appalled at myself, I go get Demi a hot rag to put on his ear. This works and he goes back to sleep. For 30 or 40 minutes... I wake up to realize that Demi is in our bed, in the unheard-of-side, next to Dad (mom's the cuddly one...usually) it must have been his final jab at me, mom-the-traitor...after 15 minutes of sniffling and crying, Dad says roughly and commandingly..."stop crying".

Ha.

Dad finally has pity and gets Demi up for a bath -which is his solution for most problems, that and ice cream...which surprisingly works most of the time. I get up and get Demi a hot rag to put on his ear.
Because I'm the sympathetic one. Usually.

Nobody made it to church, and the happy ending part is that Sky let me sleep in past 9.

Asthma, -the gift that keeps on giving.

The really sad part of my night-time asthma/cat woes...even on good nights now, I can't fall asleep, or I wake up every 3 hours or so- which is about the time frame between treatments.

I think I'm back to exalted-mom position, but it may be pending....

tales from the haunted laundry pile

Someone gave our son this toy from Disney's Cars movies, I think it is "Mater", not real sure, I've only seen bits of the movie... Mater makes this faint engine rumbling noise when moved, nudged, etc.

Somehow, Mater has taken up residence in a corner of my room behind the laundry basket. The laundry basket that has become, most of the time, the laundry pile. Of Course, everyday when I am hunting laundry of certain properties...warm whites/cool whites/towels; I manage to nudge Mater way back in the hidden corner and scare myself with his ghostly rumbling.
And yet, I never work up the energy to go find Mater and do something with him.

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, I somehow nudged Mater. Husband got big eyed and asked "what in the world is that?" I told him it was Mater, somewhere buried behind the mountain of laundry present. I then told him it was the ghost of laundry un-done and we ended up in a fit of laughter and more silly names. We ended up in a fit of giggles as we decided he would not be found until the laundry was completely done...about once a year.

How many other families have a haunted laundry pile?

And now for your reading pleasure, here is something shared over at the WTM boards, a very clever mom came up with this, and it just seemed to fit the theme.
Enjoy

Mountain of laundry version of Aragorn’s speech:

See in your eyes the same mountain that would take the heart of me.
A day may come when this laundry pile of mine overwhelms me, when I forsake clean towels and break all scoops of soap, but it is not this day.
An hour of soiled shirts and dirty pants, when the laundry room comes crashing down, but it is not this day.
Today, I fold! For all of the children in my house, and for my dear husband too,
I tell you I will sit, and fold my laundry!

above all, be kind

We had the bible school boys over Sunday night, they actually come over every Sunday night...the house seems empty when they are on break. I had a really interesting experience with one of the boys and I've been mulling over it today.

A new young man, I'll call "M" struck up a conversation with me after noticing some of our Abeka math charts on the wall. He found out we homeschooled, and told me about his experience in a homeschool-like cottage school his first years of schooling before moving on to several other forms of schooling. M also went on to share with me how homeschooling for all of the school years was a bad thing, how "studies" have shown that solely homeschooled kids can't go on to function at University or in the real world...

Ahem. Can you in any other way more clearly mark a big ole' target on your forehead... Could you get a rise out of a in-the-trenches-homeschool-mom, any faster?

I did pause- for once- before opening my mouth to enlighten my new friend, before challenging some of these popular assumptions and faulty lines of reasoning. He even threw in the family of homeschoolers he knew who did not go on to achieve anything... Now, I do enjoy a good, intellectual, friendly debate, and when I was young and much less wise, I actually believed such was possible. Looking back at such debates, my opinion now is that it is not feasible unless the two debating are very good friends with a good sense of humor and good understanding of each other. In all other instances, even if the two walk away amicably, something is lost- one walks away put down a little, one walks away feeling a sting, the other walks away feeling a little too wise in her own eyes, or maybe even a little ashamed for the win.

This time, I paused, and made a decision to simply 'be kind'.

I looked M in the eyes and nodded and "really-ed!" and gave many "hmmm's" and I smiled, and I asked about his school experiences.

The amazing part of this little conversation...he actually corrected himself over his anecdotal evidence of homeschool failure, and remembered a family that had fantastic results.

The best result of being kind proved to be the very rich conversation centered around this young man as several of them talked of such things as the different manuscripts used for bible translations, groups of texts, the King James version, the dead sea scrolls, recent archaeological finds, carbon dating, it was just fascinating. Apparently, the physicists, linguists and engineers sitting around our table-harbored several interesting hobbies and lines of study.

I really wondered if I had not chosen to practice kindness (when I really wanted to be offended and defensive) would the free-er flow of topics occurred? Would M felt free to share or would he have felt put in his place, or even merely sat with the feeling of not being liked by his hostess? Would the evening ended much quieter and would we have lost the richness we enjoyed sitting in on those conversations?

Be kind.

sometimes we adults need to remember those words, too.